I seem to have a never-ending stream of negative thoughts about myself. There is constant chatter in my head about how I look, what terrible thing I ate, why I can’t run farther or faster, why I didn’t get up earlier, why I yelled at my kids, why I can’t be more patient, how many wrinkles I have, what the scale says….and on and on!
Apparently this is normal. It is my “natural man” or ego telling me all these terrible things. I was recently challenged to notice that voice and give her a name. Don’t hate her, that just causes more hate for myself. But, become friends with her. This sounded a little schizophrenic to me, but, why not? I introduced myself to Violet. I’m not exactly sure why this name popped into my head almost immediately. Maybe I was thinking of the girl in “The Incredibles” that can make herself go invisible. She is insecure, but she means well. She is unsure and sad. I am still getting used to recognizing and acknowledging Violet. But, I can see how this makes me feel more empowered and in control of my own thoughts. I don’t need to listen to Violet pointing out all my flaws. I can tell her to calm down and then I can come up with positive thoughts about myself instead. It is actually tricky for me to notice these thoughts and calm them down. I am so used to my brain running out of control. I am excited to notice and reign it in.